Some Shitty Movies thus far in '09

I see a lot of movies. Not a few, but we are talking about normally the top 100 films at the box office each year. So when I make a list of tea bag worthy movies, I'd hope people listen to my words of movie going advice. The list of movies are in no particular order, they all suck. You can decide how bad they suck...

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Thank you Blue Sky for making another direct-to-DVD sequel for theaters of a concept that worked for two outing and has struck out ever since. Not even the Scrat character can save this picture from having one too many rejected jokes from poor sitcoms like 'Two and a Half Men'

Tons of good actors in a clever concept go to waste in this stinker that has a nifty trailer and some cool special effects. When will we get to see Brandan Fraiser act in a movie worthy of his performance in 'Gods and Monsters' again? Right now he's on a collision course w/ Nick Cage, battling to see who can turn in the most single ply ass-wiping worthy flicks before they die.

Just when audiences thought they had enough of the 'Heroes' variety style movies, we get a hack version of a terrific concept turned bad in this wasted attempt at cool cinema.

The best thing that we can take from this film is the BTS tape of Christian Bale going off on the DP. And a strange cameo by a digital Arnold looking as plastic as any of the women from 'Entourage.'

Damn you McG!

Is that Megan Fox looking at herself in 'The Unborn?' No, it's just a look-alike breed from the same school of acting without the same 'assets.' David S. Goyer should avoid having a movie produced by Michael Bay, how else can you explain this disaster of a movie with a unintentionally funny Jewish Rabbi performance by Gary Oldman.

Some movies are better left to not be remade. If you are going to remake a movie, why not take a really bad movie and make it good? Remaking a classic is tough and just a bad idea in general.

This franchise was DOA from the first one, yet people like Kate Beckinsale wearing next to nothing. Oh and people love vampires and lycans too. As for me, I'll just watch another episode of 'True Blood' or some reruns of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' instead.

On paper, the pairing of Woody Allen and Larry David is brilliant, yet the end result doesn't lie. You get David doing his shtict complete w/ Holocaust jokes that aren't funny while talking to the camera. There's a threshold for how many times an audience can listen to L. David sing 'Happy B-day' to himself while washing his hands!