Yes, I posted some shitty movies the other day to start up this blog but I totally forgot about the fluffer of the '09 movie season. If you are looking to see a movie that's racist, not-funny, poorly plotted, student filmish at times and a shiningly awful example of why studios shouldn't remake classic films, look no further then:
Steve Martin plays the classic Blake Edward's detective with none of the wit nor charm that Peter Sellers brought to the bumbling yet lovable character, Inspector Jacques Clouseau. A list of things that are more fun to do than watching this movie:
- Literally try and catch a fly with chopsticks like Mr. Miyagi did in 'The Karate Kid.' Do not quit until you achieve fly squashing bliss.
- Get any hair waxed from your body. Yes, this is even less painful than watching the suckfest that is the 'Pink Panther 2.'
- Try and de-feather a duck Julia Childs style.
- Get stuck waiting at the DMV sitting between the smelly person, the person with bad breath and the ghetto over-weight female talking on her cell too loud about the sloppy drunken sex she had with a midget the night before.
- Watching a double header of your parents wedding video and their bat/bar mitzvah vids with tons of pause worthy commentary as your father explains how the magic happened between him and your mom after the wedding with graphic details.
- Trying to bleach your own anal hole.
Seriously folks, this movie is that bad. I couldn't even make it past the 70 minute mark before turning off this turd fest. Even taking a bath in epsom salt followed by a detoxifying long hot shower scrubbing myself down 'Crying Game' style wasn't enough to make me feel clean again.
Dobler Rating: F
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