Monday, August 24, 2009

Avatar Day Report...

I am a douche. I totally forgot to post about the awesomeness that was James Cameron's 3-d preview of 'Avatar' this past Friday. First off, my hat (that's if I wore one) goes off to AMC for coordinating/organizing such a pain free worldwide sneak peak. They had a simple check in bracelet system combined with a ton of coupons handed out while waiting in line. This is how organization should be, not like the cluster fuk that was 'A Christmas Carol' preview at Union Station earlier this year.

Since people are not reading this post to find out about how AMC gave me the full reach around service on 'Avatar' day let me digress into the preview by once again stating it was AWESOME. If you are judging the trailer that has premiered on the net; don't. You HAVE to see the 'Avatar' footage in 3-d to truly appreciate what Cameron is trying to do with cinema. The preview started out w/ Cameron in 3-d introducing the film. Note to all filmmakers: If you are a director, please do not introduce your film in 3-d when it's a $200 million + epic. Can't you at least do a bit with the actors there or something? I mean, come on Jim. I know you were so 'king of the world' five years ago but honestly, I would've rather seen Sam Worthington talk about the movie as a blue avatar.

From the rocky introduction by Cameron, he quickly takes us into two set-up scenes to get us into the world of Avatar, which is breathtakingly 'insert additional adjectives here' beautiful. What's astonishing about the look and feel of 'Avatar' and why he's calling it a game changer, is the character models. Yes, the blue look of the characters feel like leftovers out of a bad 'Smurfs' movie mixed w/ the Freddie Prinze, Jr. bomb, 'Delgo,' but they sweat, breath, cry and look like the best CGI since LOTR. The action sequences in the trailer had a moment where the camera dollies backward as forest foliage creeps into the foreground with various lighting effects and so many objects to look at on the screen if you blinked, you'd miss it. Another impressive moment involved a character shining a flashlight out into the screen. The light was so strong I had to briefly look away so my eyes could adjust.

Outside of having some type of additional sensory with smell and touch, this is about as close as CGI has come to being live action. In the past, Bob Zemeckis has taken his motion capture love to the extreme w/ 'Polar Express' and 'Bewoulf,' and having seen both in 3-d, this looks better. In fact, this looks better than 'A Christmas Carol,' which also uses the same technology to create characters. Why does it look better? Simple. Cameron, I think, knows our technology cannot make a human look human as CGI so his solution is to turn his characters into giant avatars that possess humanistic traits, but are not 100% human, thus enabling him to blend reality with CGI.

Regardless, my Dobler rating for this preview is an A and I cannot wait to see Cameron's first directing gig in 12 years since he proclaimed he was the 'king of the world.'

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Shadow Complex vs Inglorious Basterds

Low light from the past few days: Being handed a grocery list that has every item no man in the world could ever find. If you know how to find crush walnuts, flour, vick's vapor rub, and a special kind of razors without having to go down ever aisle at Von's, you are a better man than me. Oh, and the hangover I was suffering didn't help much when navigating thru the store filled of Pasadena housewives/moms, getting their weekend groceries. But I digress from this nearly hour long experience into the two highlights:

Highlight #1: Video Game

X-Box 360 DLC now has two of my top 10 games of the last few years available to download. The first is the mind/time-bending universe of 'Braid,' which I still use the theme from as my wake-up alarm. The second game, that was just released last week is 'Shadow Complex.' The storyline couldn't be any more basic. You are out with your girlfriend in the woods, when she suddenly falls into a cave where she discovers a secret privately funding military group that's looking to take over the US. As you search for your girlfriend in 'Super Metriod/Super Turrican' glorious side-scrolling action, you slowly put the pieces back together on a kick-ass suit that gives you tons of glorious abilities. You have your standard double jump, dash, and an arsenal of weaponry as well.

In video games, just like big budgeted summer movies, it's okay to exploit cliches that have worked in the past, as long as you take the cliche and build upon it. The makers of 'Shadow Complex' do just that and as I played this $15 gem I was reminded of the glorious SNES days and I had been longing to get my hands on a kick-ass side scroller worthy of my time.

All said, I've now beaten the game in about 6 hours, but have only discovered 51% of the items/map. Luckily, I can start from my last save point and today is for sure going to be filled with some more kick-ass old school gamer fun.

Dobler Rating: A-

If it's wasn't for a few bitmapping issues combined with one section where the controls went so wonky I wanted to throw my controller at my plasma, this game would've been an A+. As is, it's the best 15 dollars you'll spend on a game this year.

Inglorious Basterds has the makings for a total bomb. After Tarantino's last outing, 'Death Proof,' he could've continued on the path of trying to make 70's like B movies for a 00 crowd. Instead, he harkens back to the glorious style that made him famous, with 'Pulp Fiction,' and throws in a whole lotta Nazis. The end results make for an experience that only Tarantino could deliver.

As Tarantino grows as a filmmaker so does the imagery in his films. This has to be the best looking flick he has made yet. That being said, what makes 'Inglorious' feel like a family member you love but don't want to spend a lot of time with are the strenuous dialogue scenes that seem to go on for about 5 minutes too long in each outing. After seeing all of Tarantino's films, I know this is his style and he's not going to change, yet the build-up in the small sequences play out better than the simple but meant to be convoluted conclusion.

I could go into more details on plot, acting, etc. in this picture, yet it feels like a disservice to 'Basterds,' since the trailers go out of their way to give nothing away, why would I?

Dobler Rating: B

See it for the Nazi scalping and stay for Christopher Waltz's Oscar worthy performance.

And with those two blurbs posted, I'm going back into video game over drive and play me some Shadow Complex although I probably should shower first, it has only been 2 days...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Worst Movie so far this year...

Yes, I posted some shitty movies the other day to start up this blog but I totally forgot about the fluffer of the '09 movie season. If you are looking to see a movie that's racist, not-funny, poorly plotted, student filmish at times and a shiningly awful example of why studios shouldn't remake classic films, look no further then:
Steve Martin plays the classic Blake Edward's detective with none of the wit nor charm that Peter Sellers brought to the bumbling yet lovable character, Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

A list of things that are more fun to do than watching this movie:
  1. Literally try and catch a fly with chopsticks like Mr. Miyagi did in 'The Karate Kid.' Do not quit until you achieve fly squashing bliss.
  2. Get any hair waxed from your body. Yes, this is even less painful than watching the suckfest that is the 'Pink Panther 2.'
  3. Try and de-feather a duck Julia Childs style.
  4. Get stuck waiting at the DMV sitting between the smelly person, the person with bad breath and the ghetto over-weight female talking on her cell too loud about the sloppy drunken sex she had with a midget the night before.
  5. Watching a double header of your parents wedding video and their bat/bar mitzvah vids with tons of pause worthy commentary as your father explains how the magic happened between him and your mom after the wedding with graphic details.
  6. Trying to bleach your own anal hole.
Seriously folks, this movie is that bad. I couldn't even make it past the 70 minute mark before turning off this turd fest. Even taking a bath in epsom salt followed by a detoxifying long hot shower scrubbing myself down 'Crying Game' style wasn't enough to make me feel clean again.

Dobler Rating: F


DVR Movie Night: BLINDNESS


When you have talented people behind a movie like 'Blindness' it really makes you want to see the film, after all the director of the film, Fernando Meirelles, also made the captivating yet strangely boring 'The Constant Gardener.' Meirelles knows how to shoot a movie and make it visually appealing for the audience, yet the dude still hasn't quite figured out how to make a full-length feature. Anytime you have Julianne Moore (think Todd Haynes 'Safe') you know she'll deliver. However, Meirelles doesn't deliver her a story worthy of her acting chops.

The opening of the film is by far and away some of the best 20-30 minutes ever shot on film in the last 10 years. You are in the hands of a director who's grasping all the thriller elements as people everywhere start to slowly go blind. Then the movie turns into a prison flick of blind people as a small select few are held against their will and try to figure out survival in captivity amongst crooks. Yet the second and third acts of 'Blindness' are more an excuse for Meirelles to use a form of masturbatory exposition as we wait for something...anything to happen.

The conclusion of the flick is equally disappointing as there really is no closure to this film and after taking the 2 + hour journey thru some cool visually whited out sequences, it ends up more of a rip-off than a nifty open-to-interpretation sci-fi ending Meirelles was intending.

Final Thought:

I like nudity along with interesting concepts, yet not even those two enticing elements can keep this film afloat as the picture struggles to find a tone.

Dobler Rating: C-


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Luggage Cart Retrospective


Inquiring minds always ask me, 'what's up w/ my obsession taking pics passed out on a luggage cart?' Well, the truth is it all stems from the OG voyage to Vegas w/ the Pico de Muco gang back when I was like 25 years old. The tale is a friendly reminder that when you take a voyage to a place where all you do is drink, do NOT try to keep up with the tequila intake when you are with a group of pros.

After rapping my own version of Vanilla Ice's 'Ice, Ice Baby,' we went to grab some drunk munchies and I could barely stand on my own two feet. I ended up passing out on a luggage cart in the middle of a casino w/ a bunch of drunk females trying to take pics w/ me. Luckily, a member of the Pico de Muco gang woke me up and propped me up in a chair. Looking back at the picture I thought to myself how self satisfyingly funny it would be to continue on this Goldstein obsession and have people continue to take pics of me on luggage carts. None can match the first luggage cart experience, but I wanted to share this short retrospective thru the past 5 years of luggage cart passing out across the country....

Luggage cart Pic Circa 2006, Downtown Phoenix, fancy gay hotel bar

Notice the slight thumbs up and the placement of the luggage cart by the PC along w/ the fancy 80's calculator watch. There were 5 luggage carts to choose from and we went w/ this one. Why? Heck if I know, maybe it's a certain kind of art?

Results: Should've went w/ a thumbs down since I'm next to a stupid unsexy PC.

Sundance 2009, outside the Sundance Filmmaker Lounge/headquarters

This was my first luggage cart pic where I started to use more than one to rest my head on. It was freakin cold in Park City that day and not even the slight buzz I had from the party I snuck out of to take this pic could keep me warm.

Results: Mixed. Classic for the double Luggage Cart Presentation, but not so much the near fetal position I choice to represent it in.


Vegas '08 Bachelor Party

Mission: To take a pic on the luggage cart before getting escorted off.

Results: Not so great. Was insulted by the valet car guy just before sticking out my tongue in time to take the quick snap.







Vegas '08 Bachelor Party Beer Drinker!

Note: The beer can in this pic is completely empty. I do not drink beer and won't start drinking it now, not even for the sake of a Luggage Cart photo. The best part of this pic was that everyone said I looked like Barry Bishop instead of myself.

Results: One of my favorites. It looks like I am frozen in mid-air, drinking a beer. You try and top that!



Vegas '09: Patron TV Boa

Even though I am smiling in this luggage cart shot, I am pretty sure I was nearly passed out at this point. The boa was a last minute inspiration from Steveone, who also took the pic.

Results: Meh, I could've done w/ a better angle to really capture the essence of luggage carting + the boa


Vegas '09: Trip w/ the Glowakas

Steve and Lisa looked at me like I was crazy, yet this is one of my all time favorite luggage cart shots. The essence is the luggage cart is more important than the man, which should be the number 1 rule to remember when partaking in luggage carting of your own.

Results: Second fav luggage cart of all time. The gold highlights on each of the 5 luggage beauties really personifies my ambition w/ the carts.





Vegas '09: Last minute bachelor Party

What I dig about this shot is the guy with the hand on the luggage cart. It's a bellhop. My first pic with a bellhop + I have a drink in my hand. That's talent!

Results: If only we would've gotten the head of the bellhop this one would make it into the top 3.


Vegas '09: Last minute bachelor Party

This was the first and one time pic where other people assisted me in my obsession. I was confused like a deer in the headlights w/ additional people in the pic, thus causing mixed results as I'm clearly looking at camera while the other two guys are pretending to be passed out.

Results: A great effort to try something different. The blocking of carts and people was executed perfectly only to be blown by me looking lost in luggage cart translation.
Thus concludes my luggage cart adventure. There are more pics to come as I am about to enter my 30's and my luggage cart quest celebrates a 5 year anniversary.

For the record, no luggage carts were harmed in the making of this blog post, just a friend's head after I threw the empty beer can at them in the above pic.






Monday, August 17, 2009

Some Shitty Movies thus far in '09

I see a lot of movies. Not a few, but we are talking about normally the top 100 films at the box office each year. So when I make a list of tea bag worthy movies, I'd hope people listen to my words of movie going advice. The list of movies are in no particular order, they all suck. You can decide how bad they suck...




Thank you Blue Sky for making another direct-to-DVD sequel for theaters of a concept that worked for two outing and has struck out ever since. Not even the Scrat character can save this picture from having one too many rejected jokes from poor sitcoms like 'Two and a Half Men'
















Tons of good actors in a clever concept go to waste in this stinker that has a nifty trailer and some cool special effects. When will we get to see Brandan Fraiser act in a movie worthy of his performance in 'Gods and Monsters' again? Right now he's on a collision course w/ Nick Cage, battling to see who can turn in the most single ply ass-wiping worthy flicks before they die.














Just when audiences thought they had enough of the 'Heroes' variety style movies, we get a hack version of a terrific concept turned bad in this wasted attempt at cool cinema.












The best thing that we can take from this film is the BTS tape of Christian Bale going off on the DP. And a strange cameo by a digital Arnold looking as plastic as any of the women from 'Entourage.'

Damn you McG!









Is that Megan Fox looking at herself in 'The Unborn?' No, it's just a look-alike breed from the same school of acting without the same 'assets.' David S. Goyer should avoid having a movie produced by Michael Bay, how else can you explain this disaster of a movie with a unintentionally funny Jewish Rabbi performance by Gary Oldman.








Some movies are better left to not be remade. If you are going to remake a movie, why not take a really bad movie and make it good? Remaking a classic is tough and just a bad idea in general.









This franchise was DOA from the first one, yet people like Kate Beckinsale wearing next to nothing. Oh and people love vampires and lycans too. As for me, I'll just watch another episode of 'True Blood' or some reruns of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' instead.









On paper, the pairing of Woody Allen and Larry David is brilliant, yet the end result doesn't lie. You get David doing his shtict complete w/ Holocaust jokes that aren't funny while talking to the camera. There's a threshold for how many times an audience can listen to L. David sing 'Happy B-day' to himself while washing his hands!

Dobleronfilm is back!

I'm starting www.dobleronfilm.com back up as a blog on ramblings in life, movies, basketball and anything else that I feel like verbally jerking off to in blog form.

In the last few years since my loyal 2-3 readers left to other blogs, I've been keeping busy. Doing what? Outside of a ton of video games/movie watching/basketball, I produced a short called, RITE that played at Sundance this past year. I co-produced a feature w/ Will Sasso and Alex Borstein called, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. And I Associate Produced/Music Supervised a flick called, ALIEN RAIDERS that's way better than the title would lead you to believe. All links are under my link section on the right hand-side.

Besides those items, lost 5 pounds than gained 10, became a part-time racist and lost my interest in boy bands.

Anything else you need to know, just e-mail, twit, fb and/or fax me. Come on, somebody please send me a fax!

Hope you enjoy!